


Election

by the_space_in_my_head



Category: Fifth Harmony (Band)
Genre: F/F, F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-18
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-10-20 09:35:45
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 13,287
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10659831
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/the_space_in_my_head/pseuds/the_space_in_my_head
Summary: High School AU. After a short-lived romance ends between Dinah and Lauren, Dinah decides to lash out by dating Lauren's brother, Chris, who is running for Student President. In a fit of frustration and revenge Lauren decides to challenge him; as a less than ideal candidate.Aspects of this fic inspired by the 1999 film 'Election' starring Reece Witherspoon.





	1. Experimenting

**Author's Note:**

> this is a 90s film so hopefully i'll be able to incorporate a kind of 90s vibe into this, but we'll see! enjoy:)

"What do you mean you can't do this anymore?" Lauren stared at the girl who had just broken her heart. In fact, she felt like it was about to beat out of her chest with the anxiety that was writhing in the pit of her stomach. Lauren had sensed something was wrong with the way Dinah was kissing her today, hesitant and cautious, but had ignored it as Dinah often had doubts; being a girl who was very conscious of appearances.

"I...it doesn't feel right." Dinah sat up, pulling the sleeve of her flannel back up from where it had slipped down her shoulder. She kept her face turned away from Lauren, choosing instead to stare out the window at the fall leaves that hung prettily from the trees. She focused on their colours so she wouldn't have to look at the sad green that she knew was searching her body language right now for answers. Lauren slowly sat up too, hovering behind Dinah and pulling nervously at her pink lip. Crawling to be directly behind the other girl's back, she lifted her hands, hesitating for a second before placing them, feather light, on Dinah's shoulders. For a split second Dinah relaxed under her familiar touch, but as soon as Lauren uttered a soft "Dinah.." she pulled away, hunching her shoulders over defensively.

"What's wrong with you!" Lauren huffed, sliding off the bed to stand in front of Dinah, also taking a defensive stance with her arms crossed. "Would you look at me goddamnit!" Dinah's fiery eyes finally flickered up to meet her own frustrated ones, and Lauren saw it. Shame. 

Dinah was ashamed of what they were doing, and no longer was it an emotion that lingered occasionally. No, it took over her whole expression, clouding her eyes and pulling at her face until her brow was furrowed and her plump lips were set in a thin line. Lauren felt her stomach drop. 

"I can't do this anymore, Lauren." Dinah stood up too. "I won't. You can't make me." Her voice appeared firm, but Lauren detected a slight wobble.

" _Make_ you?" Lauren scoffed, throwing her hands up in disbelief. "There certainly wasn't any  _making_ going on yesterday when you were eating me out in the girl's toil-" Dinah cut Lauren off with a tight hand across her mouth. The force of it actually caused Lauren to stumble back several steps until her back hit the wall painfully, Dinah's long hand still pressed firmly against her lips. 

"Shut  _up."_ Dinah's eyes were wide and furious, with a hint of panic. "Your mom might hear you!" Lauren licked at her hand aggressively but Dinah stayed put, breathing heavily, clearly afraid Lauren might shout something else. She was unpredictable when she was angry.

"You can't go spilling our dirty secrets! Do you know how mocked we would be if people found out? I can't afford to drop in the social ladder like that! I'd probably be kicked off the team..and...and..." Dinah was babbling as she worked herself up. Furious at how self-absorbed she was being, Lauren bit hard into her fingers. 

"OUCH!" Dinah shrieked. "You bitch!" She shook her hand back and forth, and for a second Lauren was sure she was gonna slap her.

"No,  _you_ bitch! The whole fucking world doesn't revolve around you, you ass!" Lauren pulled angrily at the sleeves of the dark red sweater she was wearing. "And for your information, I'm not a dirty little secret." She growled. At that Dinah narrowed her eyes meanly and took a step forward, bitten hand momentarily forgotten. 

"Actually  _babe,_ you are." She sneered. "Every touch, every kiss, every  _fuck,_ was a dirty secret that I intend to tell nobody. Unlike you, I'm no  _dyke._ " The last word was spoken in a hissing whisper. Lauren swallowed and blinked several times, trying desperately to keep the tears at bay that threatened to bubble out. She turned away. Dinah kept her stance firm, unmoving. There was silence for a moment. Lauren took a deep breath, feeling claustrophobic in the tense room. Then she turned back around.

"If I'm a dyke, you're a dyke. It takes two to tango babe." She smiled sarcastically. 

This time Dinah did slap her, eyes wild.

Grasping at her burning cheek, Lauren was about to hit her back when there was an rapid knock on her door and her twin brother, Chris, burst in. 

Over six foot with broad shoulders, dark hair, puppy-like brown eyes and a knack for football, Chris was a lighthearted, approachable and  _popular_ guy. Unlike Lauren, he was friendly and open to everyone, and knew what he wanted in life: a sports scholarship in football to get into college. He was the quarterback of the school team, and a talented one, that is, until recently. During their family skiing holiday at the end of the summer he had taken a dramatic fall and broken his leg, leaving him unable to play at least for several months. Chris had taken the fall hard, both literally and figuratively, as football was his life. He'd been aimless and down for the past 6 weeks, hobbling around with a desolate expression on his face- until this moment. Right now, he looked buzzing with energy, shifting his weight from normal leg to casted leg excitedly. 

"Yo Lauren! You'll never guess what happened today right-oh hey Dinah- so Mr Bankhead called me into his classroom and he was like.." Chris was waving his hands around manically as he recounted his story, but Lauren cut him off abruptly. "Chris! Not now okay?" She turned to look angrily at Dinah, only to find that she was crouched over gathering her jacket and bag together.

"No but listen! He said that he'd noticed I'd been feeling down right? And then he said he had an idea.."

" _CHRIS!_ Shut up!" Dinah was now barging past Chris and out of the bedroom, and Lauren could hear her taking the stairs two at a time. She attempted to follow, rushing past Chris only to be tugged back by his hand around her arm. "What's going on?" Chris asked confusedly.

"Chris," Lauren growled, "Let go or God help me I'll cut your fucking balls off." Chris stepped back, hands raised in surrender, and Lauren didn't spare a second before hurtling down the stairs at a hundred miles an hour. She ran out the front door that had been left wide open, skidding to a stop by Dinah's car window just as she was about to pull away.

"Open up!" She yelled, banging on the dirty window. She could see Dinah's eyes nervously flitting toward the road as she decided whether or not to just drive off. However, she let go of the handbrake and slowly rolled the window down. "What?" She spoke hoarsely. All the anger seemed to have disappeared from her body as she took in Lauren's red check and frantic state.

"Don't go." Lauren pleaded. "I...I still want you. So bad." Lauren was panicking by this point because Dinah's whole body screamed ESCAPE. She kept glancing toward the road and back.

"Lauren," Dinah gulped. "It wasn't, this isn't-" She sighed. "We were just experimenting. This wasn't serious or anything." She looked down and pulled at a loose thread of her car seat. 

Lauren couldn't control the tears that ran down her face now. "But, no! I-" She choked.

"I gotta go." Dinah cut her off, her own voice sounding unsteady now, and her eyes glistening. "By Lauren." She whispered, before pulling out of the drive and leaving Lauren behind, a mess. 

Dinah drove for two minutes before she had to pull over, gasping, as tears ran down her face. She sat hunched over the steering wheel sobbing for 15 minutes before she finally gained the will to drive home and not turn back.  
 


	2. Student Election

Ally Brooke was a model student. Anyone who knew her could confirm that she was a dedicated perfectionist who put her absolute  _everything_ into any task or challenge. Whilst other teenage girls spent their free time hanging at each other's houses, thumbing through old magazines, going on awkward dates or spending hours chatting on their phones until they absolutely had to do their school work, Ally was forever consumed by her need to do  _more_. Every piece of homework she put 110% into, every pitiful boy she rejected, every eye roll she ignored, furthered her her pursuit for the best. In her opinion, it was what made her a superior person. She was going somewhere in life. 

She was also a ruthless bitch who didn't mind stepping on others to win. Those who considered challenging her, whether it be on a spelling bee or a question in class, were soon muted with a snap of a head in their direction and an eyebrow raised threateningly high. If that failed, Ally would talk rapidly in an indignant, confident voice as she answered the question, giving little room for argument until the other student gave up in defeat or frustration.

And every high school year, the epitome of her strive for power lay upon one thing: the Student Election. 

Did it matter that no one had run against her since freshman year? Of course not, she knew they were too weak to even try. This did not stop her running a vigorous campaign every year in which her poster perfect face plastered the walls of the school.

"What are you doing?" She remembered Lauren Jauregui had spitefully asked her one time when she was admiring a particularly striking poster in Junior year. 

Huffing in annoyance at having to spare such a mediocre person the time of day, Ally replied in a terse voice. "Just checking that I look good in this photo."

"And...?" Lauren questioned, a sarcastic tilt to her lips.

"I do. Not that I really doubted that anyway." Ally spoke in a clipped but pleased tone.

Lauren had rolled her eyes and strutted off, muttering something about Ally being full of herself. 

It was presently 8:30am in the morning and students would be filtering into school any minute now, dragging their feet belligerently as they committed themselves to a 6 hour, monotonous school day. Ally planned to add a little cheer to their lives- whilst achieving the 100 signatures she needed to run for student president of course.

She was setting up a table in the hallway, with her jar of wrapped gum pieces adjacent to her, when Mr Bankhead strolled in. He eyed Ally cautiously and seemed at first to try and slip past her without her notice when she gave him a slightly manic grin, "Morning Mr Bankhead!" She greeted cheerfully.

He paused for a moment and regarded her, a weak smile on his lips as he took in her stall. "Morning Ally. All set up I see."

Ally nodded enthusiastically. "Yep. Want a piece of gum?" Ally desperately wanted Mr Bankhead to like her, she'd always felt he didn't for some reason. She honestly didn't get why, she was always very eager in his classes, in fact, she put her hand up for every single question he asked!

"No I'm good. Better go get ready for class actually." He waved a suited arm half heartedly in a direction away from Ally, meaning really to go make a coffee in the staff room. If he was to handle a day of Ally Brooke yelling in the corridors and getting up in people's faces for signatures, he was gonna need that coffee. Offering a final, and hopefully convincing smile, he spun on his heel and started off in a different direction only to be halted by Ally's voice, "But Sir, you have Grade 12 English first, don't you? You're going the wrong way." She giggled, voice pitched in confusion.

Not wanting to know why she had memorised his timetable, he turned around again, this time avoiding eye contact. "Right you are." He walked hurriedly to his class, Ally's affectionate eyes following him the whole time.

Just then, it was like someone had opened a dam as students of all ages and levels of enthusiasm poured into the school. Ally shrieked and stood quickly in her seat. Throwing on her brightest grin she reached out an arm and snatched a small Asian boy- a freshman from the uncertainty he held in his gait- and tugged him to her table.

"Hi there! I was wondering if you'd be interested in signing something for me..."

***

Lauren Jauregui was in a grim mood. In her opinion, everything majorly sucked. Well, it always had sucked, but it had sucked a hell of a lot less when she'd had a tall, blonde, gorgeous cheerleader as her...girlfriend? They hadn't really ever labelled things; themselves or their relationship. And she hadn't particularly cared. Spending time with the obnoxious but colourful, stimulating and witty girl had been enough to make broody, dorky, cynical Lauren happy. When she knew she had Dinah, other things didn't seem so shit. It stopped mattering so much that her creepy psychology teacher always lingered too long at her desk, his head craned over her shoulder "looking" at her work as he breathed out his stale coffee odour, hand placed uncomfortably on her lower back. It stopped mattering so much that the atmosphere at home was always tainted irreversibly by the constant arguing of her parents; stuck in a sexless, dead, middle class marriage that neither could be bothered to end. It stopped mattering that Lauren was shit at Math, as Dinah was a genius and always helped her with it, or that often she found herself slipping into periods of time where she just felt low, as Dinah had always cheered her up by bringing a pile of gossip magazines and a range of nail varnish colours over, entertaining her with her conspiracy theories over celebrities whilst she delicately painted her nails. Dinah would then kiss Lauren's pouty lips and furrowed brow until the cloudiness in her mind dissipated enough for her to smile genuinely again.

it stopped mattering that everyone preferred her twin brother to her, even her parents. Because Dinah didn't, Dinah preferred her. And that meant a lot to Lauren, who'd spent her whole life feeling inadequate and second best.

But all of a sudden that had been snatched away from Lauren and she didn't know why. Yesterday was a blur of pain and confusion, in which certain lines from the heated argument would float mockingly to the forefront of Lauren's memory.  _I'm no dyke. Dirty little secret. We were just experimenting._ Every word was a stab to Lauren's confidence and happiness that she had been nursing and allowing to grow tentatively for the past few months that Dinah had been in her life. 

 _Don't cry. Don't be pathetic._ Lauren repeated to herself furiously as she rested her forehead against the wheel of her car and willed away the tears bubbling up, yet again, in her eyes. Her car was parked in the school carpark, far enough away from school that no one was really walking by. If they did, they hadn't shown any interest in a gloomy girl seemingly trying to gather enough motivation to enter the school. 

Taking a deep, determined breath, Lauren shakily raised her head. She lowered the car mirror and checked her reflection, wiping away any smudges from her mascara, and spare tears that had somehow managed to escape the steel gates of her eyes. Today she was wearing grey to match her mood. Grey knit sweater that hung loose around her frame to expose soft shoulders and sharp collarbones, matching grey headband that kept her dark hair pushed out of her eyes, and grey schoolgirl skirt.  _I'm like a walking cloud of misery,_  Lauren thought as she pushed open her car door.  _Good, maybe I can rain all over Dinah and ruin her hair._

 


	3. Drama

67 signatures. Ally was doing well. Students who walked past her table walked with a resignation that their vicinity would be infiltrated by a 5ft , manic girl waving a clipboard, and many didn't care enough to avoid it. 

So, Ally was pleased. She was scouring the faces of students, flashing them friendly smiles and watching them flinch away when suddenly an out of place rustling caught her left ear. She swung round just in time to see Lauren Jauregui skuttle by with a handful of gum pieces clutched in her small hand.

Ally's eyes widened. "Lauren Jauregui, it's one per person!" 

Lauren swung round daintily on a foot and flashed her an impish grin, before slowly and purposefully unwrapping a piece and popping it in her mouth. "Sorry," she mumbled, chewing obnoxiously, "There wasn't a sign." She knew very well that there was a sign, but she loved to wind up Ally.

Ally went red in annoyance. She grabbed the pot of gum off the table and took off towards Lauren at an alarming speed. Lauren looked momentarily frightened, and to save her gum she quickly unzipped her backpack and tossed them inside. Ally reached her and waved the pot in her face. "Just because you don't  _care_ to read the sign, doesn't mean it wasn't there!" 

Lauren sighed, already bored of the interaction. Ally's yellow sweater was hurting her eyes so she turned to leave, only to be wrenched quite violently back by an iron grip on her top. 

"What...get off me-"

"I don't care that you're an arrogant, distressed emo who won't get further in life than a slug in a desert, stay away from my gum, and my election Jauregui." Ally hissed. 

Lauren look at her bemused. "What did you just say?" 

Ally took another step forward and Lauren was afraid she might actually do something like bite her. "Okay, chill out. Sociopath." She muttered, raising her hands in defence. The first period bell rang, breaking up the confrontation as Lauren turned away to head to English. 

God she hated Ally Brooke.

***

"...And whilst reading may not seem like an important thing to many of you, it stimulates the brain and decreases your blood pressure by a significant amount. So think about that next time you're drinking those sugary pop drinks..."

Lauren slouched in her seat, feeling indignant. She didn't need to listen to this lecture, she loved to read. It wasn't her problem that she was surrounded by imbeciles. To prove her point, she heard Jason next to her inquire in a gravelly attempt at a hushed voice to the girl next to him, "Uh what book are we doing this syllabus again?" They were two months into the school year. "To Kill A Mockingbird." The girl whispered back. There was a pause. "About shooting birds?" 

Lauren groaned and let her head flop forward into her arms, welcoming the dark cavern they created as she attempted to muffle out the sound of the boy's slow voice. It didn't work, she could still hear the girl's flirtatious giggle as clearly interpreted the boy's response as a joke, and the awkward deep chuckle he gave in return. Lauren bent under her desk and tried to quietly root through the shit in her bag to find her MP3 player. It didn't look like this actual lesson was getting started anytime soon and she needed a distraction. 

She let out a quiet "Yes!" in victory when she found it, quietly pulling it out and clipping it to the inside of her sweatshirt, shooting glances at the tired, droning Mr Hayward to make sure he hadn't seen. She was just working the ear phones up through the neckline of her top when she felt eyes on her. Lauren turned her head slightly to catch the affectionate gaze of Dinah from across the room. Dinah was sitting by the window, long legs stretched out and head resting on one hand, titled in her direction. The look in her eyes was a strange combination; guilt, regret, adoration and amusement. It appeared she had been watching her for a while. When Lauren met her eyes she felt a jolt of pain and anger in her stomach, and her gaze, that at first had been surprised and cautious, closed off in defense. Dinah noticed this, the caramel in her own eyes hardening to wood as she quickly turned her head away, but not before Lauren caught a sliver of sadness in them. 

For the rest of the class Lauren kept her eyes stubbornly on her paper, refusing to look at the blonde beauty to her left. In response, Dinah didn't attempt any interaction with her, that is, until the end of the lesson when Mr Hayward was giving out the essays he'd marked over the weekend. He was the kind of irritating teacher who felt the need to call out the grade a student had got before he dropped the paper on their desk, an attribute that made him very resented by  every teenager. 

"Lee, C!"  _Hah. Lee Cee._  Lauren thought.  _Dat rhymes._

"Rachel, B." He let the paper flutter to her desk before continuing to march down the row. 

"Marcus, D! I couldn't read this scrawl that you call handwriting, so didn't bother giving it any higher. Fix it." Marcus made an offensive gesture behind Hayward's back when he continued.

Lauren slipped another piece of Ally's gum into her mouth as grade after grade was called out.

"Dinah Jane!" Lauren paused for a second. Something like worry shot to her stomach. Dinah struggled a hell of a lot with English, and Lauren had actually meant to look over her essay on Thursday night, but Dinah had made an excuse not to come over.  _I should have seen it coming_. She thought retrospectively. 

"E. I don't know what you're playing at but you need to step up your game if you want to pass this class." A few people around the class snickered. It didn't matter that Dinah was popular, an E was an embarrassing grade.

Lauren stole a glance toward Dinah and saw her blushing furiously as she snatched the paper from Mr Hayward's hands and shoved it, crumpled, into her bag. Lauren watched her with sympathetic eyes, forgetting everything in that moment as her whole body urged her to go over and comfort the girl.  _It doesn't matter. It's just a grade. Nobody's good at everything._ Her fingers curled in the air of their own accord, aching to run through Dinah's locks in a soothing gesture. Just then Dinah's humiliated eyes met Lauren's deep green ones and in that second Lauren decided that yes, she would put everything behind her. She was moving to get up when Mr Hayward's clipped voice cut through her thoughts, "Lauren! A!" He was looking down at her, beaming. "Top marks in the class and a top notch essay. Well done." He gave the paper to her, Lauren's inky swirl scattered with red ticks and labeled with a bright stamp of an A, that in that moment seemed to mock her with its bad timing. There were a few sighs around her, and a couple of comments "Of course.." "What else is new?" from other jealous students. But as Mr Hayward moved back to his desk, leaving the students to filter out, Lauren searched for the only eyes she cared about, only to find them closed off and hard.

"Well," Dinah said in a practised voice, just loud enough to catch the attention of the students packing their bags, just mocking and carefree enough to make others laugh and it's target feel small. "What do you expect?" She slung her back on her shoulder, and turned to face everyone. "Writing an essay is equivalent to masturbating for nerds like her." She then locked eyes with Lauren, head tilted in a teasing way as she regarded her with mean eyes that showed nothing of the Dinah that Lauren knew. There was a wave of amused laughter from the teenagers around her, a wave that threatened to crash over Lauren and drown her in humiliation and hurt as she looked at the girl who'd just made her feel smaller than she had in a long time. 

But Dinah was no longer looking at her, she was turned towards her cheerleading friends, grinning as they sauntered out of the class, leaving Lauren wondering when everything had changed. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> thanks for reading:)


	4. Twins

September 18th 1989 

Lauren trotted into the kitchen, holding the sticky painting between her chubby fingertips. It was a Saturday morning and she'd just spent two hours in her bedroom painting, in as much accuracy as she could, a picture of her mom. She enjoyed art a lot. At recess when the others kids played tag or bulldog in the playground, she chose to stay inside and paint. She liked it because it was quiet and she had full access to all the colours. She could make sure all the caps were kept on and that the paintbrushes were washed so they didn't harden, as it frustrated her when the others kids were careless enough not to. If your paintbrushes are hard you can't paint! It was logic to her. 

Today she had wanted to do something special for her mommy because recently Lauren felt like she wasn't proud of her. Whenever Lauren told her she hadn't made any new friends aside from Timmy, her mom sighed and look frustrated, doing that thing where she clicks her tongue."You're seven years old Lauren, you need to start making proper friends."

Lauren had been confused at that. What made Timmy not proper? "Timmy's real and he's my friend!" She'd protested.

Her mom had rolled her eyes. "Yes I know he's real- thank god- " She'd muttered. "But you know he's not quite right."

Right? What made something right or wrong? Lauren had always wondered that. Was it wrong if her mom thought so? Or if her dad thought so? Did both have to think it was wrong? She knew something was wrong if it made another person sad or angry. Did it matter what she thought was wrong or right? 

Timmy was her favourite person apart from her brother. She liked him because he was sweet to her and he didn't ever talk, not one word, so he wasn't annoying like all the other kids. Timmy always gave her a thumbs up when he thought her painting was good, and he listened to music with her when none of the other kids in her class cared about music. She's bring her walkman in and they'd sit together on the beanbags in the corner of the classroom and Lauren would chatter away about the songs she liked. It was the most comfortable she ever talking. 

Timmy wasn't wrong. 

"No!" Lauren had replied indignantly, "You're wrong Mom!"

That had earned her a swift smack on the cheek for being rude.

So, to make it up to her Mom, Lauren had painted the picture. She hoped her Mom didn't mind that she'd got some paint on her dungarees and red jumper that she wore underneath. (And possibly a little on the carpet too that had snuck between the newspapers that she'd put down.)

In the kitchen her mom stood ironing Chris' blue, striped soccer kit for his game later. Chris sat opposite her on a stool, dressed in jeans with cuffs rolled up and a blue hoodie. He was shovelling cheerios into his gob. Clearly he hadn't woken up that long ago if his messy hair and sleepy eyes were to go by, even though it was 10:30am! Lauren sighed. Whenever she slept in her mom called her a lazy girl- "The sun won't shine forever!" She'd say in a clipped tone, wrenching the curtains open. But when her brother did her response was, "He's a growing boy." 

Lauren hoped that she was growing too, since her dad had measured her the other day and she was 3ft 10. She definitely wanted to be taller than that when she was grown up. Chris was 4ft and had seemed pleased. "Don't worry Lo," He'd said sympathetically. "Have some of my peas, you'll grow super fast then." Lauren had huffed at that, she didn't really want more peas than necessary. "When we're thirty," Chris had told her seriously, "Then we will be proper grown and the exact same size because we are twins." 

Lauren ate a pea thoughtfully as she considered this. "Really?" 

Chris had nodded earnestly and was about to reply when his dad's chuckling distracted him.

"I don't think you'll be the same size Chrissy boy." He'd turned to Lauren and affectionately tucked a strand of hair behind her ear. "You'll grow princess. Just nowhere near as big as this boy." He smiled proudly at Chris. "He's gonna be tall and strong with the way he's going."

All Lauren's Elementary school days had been filled with people praising how tall and handsome Chris was, how fast he was at running and how he was the best soccer player in his team. Her extended family loved him because he was lively and friendly, and was always grinning big with all the encouragement he received. People told her to 'Shh let you're brother talk', 'Wear the pink dress Lauren it's ever so pretty', 'Why don't you sit on daddy's knee quietly like a good girl', 'Why is your hair so messy Lauren? Girl's must keep their hair brushed and silky'... and so it went on.

Nobody cared that her art was steadily improving. Nobody cared that she was the brightest in her class, or that she knew 100 facts about the ocean. Her mom didn't listen when she tried to tell her about the baby bird that she'd saved yesterday after it had fallen from it's nest. She also didn't listen when Lauren tried to tell her that her favourite colours were blue, green and red, not pink, purple and silver. 

Nobody listened, so in turn, Lauren stopped talking.

Yet despite this, she tried. She tried to earn her mom's approval, and that was the aim of this painting.

"Mommy!" The kitchen was bright and sunny, made more so by the yellow painted walls. Lauren liked sun but she hated the colour yellow. 

"Mornin' Lolo!" Chris cheerfully greeted her, dribbling a bit of milk on his hoodie. Lauren scrunched her nose up at his messiness but smiled nonetheless.

"Mom." She said softer this time, coming up next to her and craning her head to try and catch her eye.

"Mmm? Don't grab at me Lauren." She pulled away from Lauren's fist on her shirt.

"I painted you something." She waved the painting at her Mom.

Sighing and putting the iron to the side, her mom took the painting daintily between her fingertips. 

"Oh, this is...nice. Who do we have here?" She smiled indulgently. 

Lauren moved excitedly from foot to foot. "It's you mommy! I painted it all morning in my room."

At that her mom frowned slightly. "That's lovely Lauren, but did you say you painted in your bedroom?" 

"Uh yeah," Lauren shifted guiltily, "I tried to not be messy..." 

Her mom huffed and placed the painting on the kitchen table, already forgotten. "Lauren Michelle, how many times have I told you if you want to paint, you paint down here on the kitchen table so I can wipe it clean easily!" She flung her arms in the air in annoyance. 

Lauren felt her bottom lip quiver. "I know mommy but I wanted it to be a surprise." 

Her mom's face had softened ever so slightly at that, but all she did was chuck Lauren under the chin and say," I'll get a sponge and clean it up. Next time, not in the bedroom okay?" 

Lauren had nodded but inside she was still very upset and very...angry? It wasn't an emotion she felt a lot as a 7 year old, but at that moment she wanted to shout at her mom to notice her hard work, to notice her. 

She never painted inside again, choosing instead to do all her art out in the garden. 

She also never painted another picture for her mom ever again.

***

February 10th 1995

Lauren was twelve years old and in the basement of a girl's house at her first Grade 7 party. She didn't get invited to them very much anymore. In Grade 6 when everyone was shy and awkward and a bit nervous to be in middle school, people had tended to invite their whole class to their parties. But as the year went on, everyone settled in, cliques formed and Lauren found herself lonely. Her best friend throughout the whole of Elementary, Timmy, had moved away in the summer, something that she had spent many nights in bed crying about. She couldn't help but wish that she'd taken some of her mother's advice and made other friends aside from him, it would have been nice to have another already formed friend as she struggled so much to make new ones.

Right now she stood awkwardly at the side of the party with her only friend Camila. Camila was a little (very) odd if she was being honest. She was overly touchy and clingy, something Lauren hated as her personal space was very important to her. Camila also often said things that were just plain weird, and not in the quirky way. For example, earlier when they were getting ready for the party at Lauren's house:

"Lauren?"

"Mmm?" She adjusted her red and blue plaid dress, fiddling with the white collar. "Hey Camila," Lauren said as she turned around. "Do you think I look okay?"

Camila was wearing an aztec patterned turtle neck with jeans. She smiled widely at Lauren and bounced up onto her toes. "You look great!" Then she frowned. "Come on Lo, let's not go to the party, we can stay here and play Dream Phone!"

Lauren shook her head adamantly, they were always playing Dream Phone."No, Camila. We actually got invited for once, we gotta go!" She turned away again to grab her purse with the long strap, and as she was putting her lip gloss into it she heard Camila mutter, "They don't even like us...sometimes I wish I could blow them all up." 

It goes without doubt that Lauren was thoroughly shaken by Camila- friendly, dorky Camila- saying something like that. She gasped and spun round, "Camila, oh my God!"

She met Camila's eyes that appeared light and free of any hatred, and for a second Lauren thought she'd imagined what she had said. Camila herself jumped up, "Come on I heard you mom beep her car! She's waiting."

Lauren had followed Camila downstairs, albeit much more cautiously now she'd seen a new side to her.

-

"SPIN THE BOTTLE!" A girl with long blonde hair, wearing pink from head to toe, screamed and was met with enthusiastic shouts. Lauren felt her stomach drop slightly. She really didn't like the idea of kissing any of the other boys at the party; they were all drenched in cologne and chewing obnoxiously coloured gum- she would rather not go near them at all. She could see her brother strolling over to the circle, clad in a baggy red, collared top and light blue jeans, with his similarly dressed friends beside him. They sat down and the girls already sitting started whispering and throwing them approving looks; Chris and his mates were the 'cute' popular boys. People often forget the two were twins they were so different, but Chris was never embarrassed by her and she loved him for it.

Lauren tried to avoid the beady eyes of Barbara, the instigator of the game, but she spotted her and Camila standing stiffly by the food. 

"Lauren! Camilla!" She squawked and Camila sighed at the mispronunciation. "Everybody has to play, that's the rules!"

"Come on." She pulled Camila by the hand to sit down in the circle, knees touching. She could tell she was worried from the way her small, sticky hand gripped hers tightly, refusing to disentangle them. Lauren wondered what she'd been eating to make her hand like that. Gross. 

The game proceeded as expected; squeals of eagerness any time a girl had to kiss a particularly gross boy, or squeals of excitement and looks of envy when they got to kiss a boy deemed cute. Because this was a girl's party- Lucy Waters- there was a general feeling that girl's held the power in deciding who was seen as lucky or unlucky to kiss. Lauren managed to avoid being landed on for six spins before the bottle pointed her way. By that time even Camila had kissed someone- well she called it a kiss but it was so fast that Lauren wasn't sure she hadn't just kissed the air in front of chubby Fred's lips, before she fell back on her haunches, face tomato red.

"Lauren!" The girls around the circle chanted as the bottle came to a slow stop in front of her. Great.

Lauren looked up to seek out who had spun it, nerves tingling in her stomach. It was Marty Brooke, a quiet, average boy with floppy brown hair, a sharp nose and hazel eyes. He was dressed in a blue checkered shirt and black corduroy trousers; Lauren watched him wipe his hands nervously on them and was thankful that he felt like she did. With a poke in the side from Barbara, Marty began to scoot slowly forward on his knees towards Lauren. Strangely, the girls around the circle were in a fairly contemplative quiet. She knew why: they were unsure what to make of her. Whilst she was deemed unusual and uncool because she didn't like to gossip or playing clapping games in the playground, she knew there were certain attributes that she had that the other girls envied. Lauren remembered one day in gym the other week. She was fixing her hair in the mirror next to Rachel Acher, who had reluctantly proceeded to tell Lauren that she was jealous of the length of her hair. "Do you use a special shampoo?" Lauren, who had been tightening her scrunchie, was so shocked she initially thought she must be talking to someone else. But when she turned to look at Rachel she found inquisitive blue eyes staring at her. "Well?" She'd said impatiently when Lauren didn't immediately respond.

"No, I don't. I'm, uh Cuban, it's normal for our hair to be long and dark." she offered, unsure. This seemed to make sense to Rachel, who nodded before turning back to the mirror and sighing as she pulled at her short ringlets. After that Lauren's 'Cuban hair' was a source of discussion and envy amidst the other girls. They seemed to think she didn't deserve it, because she (quote) 'didn't even seem to care about hair and makeup that much.'

In conclusion, they thought Lauren was pretty but weird. 

As Marty came to a stop in front of her, he seemed reluctant to just go straight in with the kiss. His mouth opened and closed a few times before he murmured, "You have really pretty lips." Lauren raised her eyebrows in surprise. He cleared his throat nervously. "And uh, eyes. They're a nice colour." Lauren smiled slightly at that, "Thanks." She examined his own eyes and noted that they too were a nice colour, the green and brown mixing to make a hazy, comforting moss. "So do you." She offered. At that he seemed to relax, shoulders dipping low as he grinned, "Okay I'm gonna kiss you now."

He placed a slightly clammy hand on her cheek and leant forward rather abruptly, catching Lauren's lips with his own dry ones in an awkward bump. It was over surprisingly fast and Marty wriggled back to his place blushing as the boys fist bumped him and the girls giggled. 

For the rest of the game Lauren relaxed slightly, she had to kiss one other boy, Jason, who tried to stick his tongue in her mouth but she pushed him off, hard. He'd just smirked and crawled back to his place, grinning as the other boys laughed. Lauren had to kiss Marty again as well, this time for slightly longer because apparently they were the rules. Neither of them had really known what they were doing, keeping their lips pressed together without moving. Lauren didn't like it much, it was uncomfortable, but it didn't really matter until the bottle she spun landed on Marty for the third time.

There was a pause before everyone shouted, "In the closet, in the closet!" Lauren was baffled and she caught Chris' concerned look from across the circle. "What?" She said out loud. Marty, who before had been shy and gentle, had grown a confident smirk under the encouragement of the boys around him. He grinned Lauren's way. "We gotta kiss for a minute in the closet." He shrugged, faux casualness evident as she could still detect some nerves about his posture.

Pecks on the lips or short kisses were one thing, but Lauren didn't feel comfortable going into a dark closet with a boy she barely knew. "No thanks." She said firmly.

"You have to!" A boy goaded in a girlish tone, clearly taken with the game. "Yeah, it's the rules!" Other voices chorused in agreement. Lauren was feeling increasingly ganged up on, and some of the girls even started to take it upon themselves to pull her up and push her toward the closet on the far side of the room. Marty was standing sheepishly with his hands in the deep pockets of his jeans. Lauren was fairly small and slight for her age, and the other girls managed to get her to her feet even though she wriggled in their grip. She was starting to panic when suddenly her brother's voice cut through the screeching of the pre teens. 

"Hey! Get off her!" He shoved his way through to the group of girls surrounding Lauren and pushed their gripping fingers off her arms. "She doesn't have to do anything she doesn't want to." Lauren rarely ever saw her brother angry, but he definitely was right now. The girls backed away at once, clearly shocked as well.

Chris softly took Lauren's hand and pulled her toward the door. "We're leaving. This party sucks ass." 

It would later be the consensus amongst Grade 7 that Lucy Waters party did in fact suck ass, because Chris Jauregui said so.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is just a bit of background info on Lauren/Chris' childhood to give you a feel for their characters and what made them like they are. There was gonna be more leading up to when she met Dinah but i'll probs put it in the next chapter as this was already 3k words. Thanks for reading! 
> 
> P.s it was so fun writing 80s/90s fetus Lauren haha i had to do a little research into clothes/games and stuff and remember that iPods didn't exist.


	5. Dinah

Ally was minding her own business, getting out her lunch time salad- since she wouldn't touch the school lunches with a barge pole- when she saw something that made her blood run cold.

Competition. More specifically Chris Jauregui, tragic football star, sitting with his own election stall in the corner of the cafeteria. She was baffled, frozen, her eyes widening as she realised he wasn't alone. Surrounding him were students that looked like they wanted to be there  _willingly_. Her eyes snapped up to Chris' face as he laughed in good humour with the girls who sat on the edge of his table, and bantered with the admiring boys that signed his sheet. Now if Ally had to say which Jauregui twin was her favourite, she'd say, without a doubt, Christopher Jauregui. He was friendly, he stayed out of her way and he never made fun of her. Lauren gave her bad vibes, and honestly, she'd been on her death list since Grade 1 when she'd put dirt in her milk at recess. But this,  _this_ purposeful attack on her power, on what was  _rightfully_  hers, well. Ally meticulously closed the lid to her salad. This was unacceptable.

One second Chris was talking to John Little about how long his recovery would be, bathing in the encouragement and enthusiasm of his peers, the next second John was warily side stepping  a tawny haired bundle of fury as she slammed her tiny hands down on Chris' table.

Meeting narrowed eyes, Chris smiled cheerfully. "Oh, Hey Ally!" He half raised his hand in a feeble wave. 

" _What_ are you doing?" Her voice was sharp.

Chris grinned and lifted his clipboard, "Mr Bankhead encouraged me to go for student president, so here I am! It's kinda fun isn't it?" 

" _Fun?_ " Fun? More like soul draining tying to get those dead eyed, ambition-less students to sign her  _stupi_ d paper,  so she could run for an election that nobody cared about aside from her! Until now that was. 

Chris' mouth quirked up in a charming half smile. "Yeah? I was feeling kinda down, but everyone's been super nice!" His chocolate eyes surveyed her in what some girls would probably find an endearing manner. Ally spluttered slightly, searching for a reply. "Oh! You don't think I'm like, tryna steal your thunder or anything?" His voice lilting slightly in question at the end.

She glared at him. "This is _my thing!_ Of course you're trying to steal my thunder! _"_ She mockingly air quoted the last phrase. fingers pinning meanly at the air.  _You need to calm down. This is bad for your public image._ Ally took a deep, calming breath, filling her small lungs. 

Chris _,_ who'd been shifting uncomfortably in his seat, now looked slightly terrified as she plastered on a friendly smile, "No matter! Competition will do me good, make the winning more victorious." She spoke more so to herself. Chris half nodded, unsure. "How many signatures to do you have so far?" Ally continued chirpily.

Chris' face brightened as he assumed the argument had passed. "112!" Ally's sharp intake of breath convinced him otherwise as she dramatically swept up the clipboard and turned her eyes toward to number count. He waited nervously. 

"Well, that's great!" Ally voice came out strained, but Chris understood that this was probably all a bit disconcerting for her. 

"Yeah..." He smiled, albeit more cautiously. Ally returned his clipboard and nodded, "I'll leave you to it, looks like I've got to start working on my campaign now, since I have someone running against me..." She walked swiftly back to her seat, talking furiously to herself.

John returned to his place on the table. "She terrifying," He muttered, spinning a basketball between his fingers. 

Chris shrugged. "She's nice, just, uh, ambitious!" Another girl signed his petition and he winked cheekily at her. She blushed. 

John snorted, his eyes very obviously focused on the girl's ass as she walked away. "Yeah, ambitiously capable of slitting your throat as you sleep..."

Chris felt a little nervous after that.

***

Dinah leaned against her locker, her eyes closed in exhaustion. She had barely gotten any sleep last night, and in result today had been one long, draining chore. She felt off balance; like she was still asleep, in a way. She told herself that it was because she was tired, and not because she'd made a decision yesterday that had changed everything. All that was safe and comfortable for the past 4 months, gone, and her life drained of colour once again. Someone slamming their locker closed way too close to her head made her eyes fly open and her head jolt forward violently. 

"Watch it!" She snapped at the skinny, ginger freshman, whose books almost toppled out of her hands as she flinched in surprise and scurried off fearfully.

Dinah returned to her mindless standing as she tried to find the will to get the books out of her locker and head to catch her bus. It felt like as soon as she stepped out of those doors the day would be sealed shut, and become real; unchangeable. Dinah wasn't proud of the decisions she'd made today. She closed her eyes again and hurt green orbs pooled behind her eyelids.  _Lauren._  It was weird, thinking of her still sent a tingle of happiness through her body despite how messed up everything was now.  _Because of you,_ she reminded herself.Dinah deeply regretted what she'd said to Lauren in English, especially after she'd seen her later and Lauren had refused to make eye contact. Her whole body had seemed slumped and small, and Dinah loathed herself for making Lauren feel that way. Dinah often hated herself though, so nothing was new there. She never felt quite right within herself, almost like the identity she had adopted and accepted as who she was, didn't actually reflect who she was on the inside. There was nothing worse than feeling at odds with yourself, it creates a detachment within you that you can ignore for years of your life, and only allow to swallow you up in the moments when you're alone with your thoughts. 

The only time she really felt happy was when she was with Lauren. 

Lauren didn't make her feel entirely whole, since there were parts of her that seriously needed to be found and nurtured and fixed by herself, by acceptance. But Lauren lit her up in a way that warmed her body, that distracted her anxious mind and placed a goofy smile on her face that she'd usually cover up. 

_"Don't." Lauren whispered in her ear once, warm breath fluttering against her cheek. She pulled at Dinah's long fingers, prising them away from where they covered her mouth. "Your smile is adorable." She grinned her own toothy one as she brought Dinah's fingers up to her lips and kissed each finger until Dinah giggled again, her small teeth and dimpled cheek revealing themselves._

_"Dork." Dinah whispered teasingly, pulling her hand away and moving forward to capture Lauren's pink lips in her mouth. "Mmm." She groaned, moving the hand that was grasped in her own to be above Lauren's head and swiftly swinging her leg over her body. "Why do you always taste so good?"_

Dinah opened her eyes as a tear leaked its way down her cheek. She brushed furiously at it.  _Pathetic._  Dinah was a bitch, but she was a bitch with issues. 

She fumbled with her locker combination and pulled out the textbooks she'd need for tonight's homework, shoving them into her rucksack. Spinning on her foot, Dinah prepared to head for the door when the last and only person she wanted to see caught the corner of her eye.

Lauren was walking slowly to her locker, feet dragging slightly. She cursed herself for forgetting that Lauren had her piano lesson on Mondays. Dinah had just come from cheerleading practice, and knowing the school would be pretty empty at 4:15pm, had taken a moment for herself.

All she could see was Lauren's back as she opened her locker, and Dinah found herself strangely entranced by the way the sunlight filtering though the big school windows caught the auburn tones in her dark brown locks. Against her will, her eyes trailed down Lauren's figure. She looked  so pretty today, like a school-girl with her headband and her skirt; it was doing things to Dinah that she wished she could control. Her eyes found their way to Lauren's bare legs and her pulse quickened. 

 _Stop it, you're not gay. It was just an experiment._ Lauren sighed, her whole body deflating as she gathered her books up. Anyone could tell she was sad.

"I miss you." Dinah whispered under her breath, too quiet for anyone to hear, as her eyes flitted over Lauren's form.

 _Maybe you can be friends again one day._ Lauren was now turning around. Dinah knew she would see her andclenched her fists anxiously, but couldn't seem to tear her eyes away. She held her breath. 

Their eyes met. 

There was no dramatic moment, no screaming, no shouting, no thousands of emotions transferred in one glance. There was simply a shocked pause from Lauren, before she gave her a look devoid of emotion. But, as she took off walking towards her, eyes still locked, Dinah could see the edges of her eyes burning with fury.  As she passed by, Lauren narrowed her eyes and spat, "Stop staring, creep. I thought you were straight?"

And with that she continued on her way without a second glance, leaving Dinah silenced by her shock and growing inner turmoil. She remained standing there for several minutes until a voice broke her from her empty staring.

"Dinah?" Dinah slowly turned her head to see Chris, sleeves of his flannel messily rolled up and red folder tucked under his arm. "What are you doing here Di, it's like 4:30?" He offered her a friendly but concerned look. Chris had been calling Dinah 'Di' since the summer when she'd first started going over to Lauren's house. She wasn't sure if she liked the nickname- Lauren certainly didn't, the fist time he'd called her that she'd snapped:  _"Who the hell's "Di"? Don't give her one of you lame nicknames Chris." Lauren momentarily raised her face from book she was reading to give him a condescending look. Her legs were propped up on Dinah's lap on the sofa, who occasionally tickled the sole of her foot when she wasn't paying her enough attention._ That had been in the early days of getting to know each other, the 'simply friends' stage.

_Chris only grinned in response, ever the good natured guy. "You mean... like Lolo?"  He teased, before throwing a chip from the bag he was eating at Lauren's now blushing face._

_"Chris, shut it!" She hissed, and Dinah laughed, hard. She teasingly called Lauren 'Lolo' for a while after that, before it just kind of stuck. Lauren didn't seem to mind it as much when it was her saying it and not Chris._

"I had cheerleading practice." Now that the shock was starting to fade from her encounter with Lauren, in it's place grew a rising panic that was all too familiar.  _Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian, Lesbian..._

"Dinah?" Chris repeated, confusion in his voice now.

"What?!" She snapped, a common reflex of hers. He raised his eyebrows in surprise but didn't get angry. "I asked if you were okay?" He hesitantly stepped forward and placed a hand on the tall girl's arm. "You seem out of it." 

In desperate need of some affection after such a self-isolating day, Dinah found herself grateful for Chris' kindness. She nodded meekly.

"You want a lift home? Unless you've got your car..."

Dinah quickly shock her head. "No. I was gonna take the bus.." 

With that Chris smiled, and the two walked to his car, Chris loping by her side like a big, faithful puppy. 

Once inside the car, Dinah tried to ignore the sticky substance that she felt on her car seat as she sat down, instead choosing to lay her jacket on it to perch on carefully. The car had a very boyish smell to it; pungent sweat and AXE deodorant, and the backseat was littered with forgotten homework assignments and crisp wrappers. Dinah couldn't help but compare it to the smell of Lauren's car; the impinging smell of paint that came from all the supplies she was constantly buying from the local art shop, combined with a delicate layer of mango perfume that Dinah had come to associate with the smell of Lauren's skin. Dinah always had to toss aside a pile of crumbling books into the backseat in order to sit down, and without fail Lauren would yell at her because they were precious. 

_"They're from the junk store."Dinah wrinkled her nose. "I don't like you going in there, the owner is creepy." Lauren pushed the cuffs of her oversized, purple sweater up her arms so she could grip the steering wheel properly, huffing simultaneously. "Mr Crew is lovely. And he has great books." Dinah ignored her, rummaging though her glove box to find her bubblegum. "Those books are older than you, and God knows the local library round here has the shittest collection-"_

_"Are you still talking about books?"_

Lauren's parents were pretty well off, so the twins had both gotten cars on their 16th birthday. And then another this summer for doing so well in Junior year. Not that Lauren had particularly cared for even the first one.  _"I'm grateful and all but this is so expensive- the last car was still working fine, I could even buy a yearly bus card for mountains cheaper. I so badly wanted that astrological telescope."  She'd sighed as Dinah eagerly scampered around her shining red car, taking it all in. "I swear they never actually listen to me, instead buying me stuff like this just to shut me up." At this Dinah attempted to contain her excitement, returning to Lauren's side and wrapping an arm around her lithe waist. "Cheer up babe. I'll tell you what, when I'm rich and famous I'll buy you a goddamn telescope myself. Now let's roll the windows down and take this beauty for a spin!" She snatched the keys from Lauren's hand and pulled her to the car, a half-hearted laugh erupting from the raven haired girl._

"So yeah, I'm just gonna go home and work on my campaign, cause I feel like Ally is gonna be competition." Chris drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, clearly preoccupied with thinking about his posters. Dinah realised he'd been talking about the election this whole time and she'd barely heard a word.  _You were thinking about her again_ , she reprimanded herself.  _Talk about obsessed._

 _Shit._ "Um, need any help with that?" 

Chris glanced at her for a second, "Huh?" 

"Your campaign. I've got nothing to do after school. Maybe I could help you out?" 

Chris smiled happily. "Seriously? Thanks so much, I tried to talk to Lauren about it last night but...oh yeah, did you two have a fight or something?" He shifted awkwardly in his seat.

"Yeah..." Dinah sighed. She really couldn't forget about Lauren for one moment. "But I really don't want to talk about that."

"Fair enough," Chris nodded. "Here we are!" He pulls into the driveway of the Jauregui's impressive house. Dinah gulped at the thought of Lauren likely being up in her room. 

Once inside, Chris offered Dinah a drink which she declined, too nervous to focus on whether she was thirsty or not. They then made their way up to Chris' room. When Chris caught her glancing at Lauren's door he realised what she was worried about. "She's not home you know? She told me at lunch that she was going to hang out with Zayn." Dinah felt a spark of jealousy at that. While Lauren had always reassured her that the two were just good friends who shared a common interest for art and music, and liked to smoke together, she still couldn't help her possessiveness whenever she knew the two were 'chilling'.  Zayn was gorgeous, and she was sure he had a thing for her Lauren.

"Oh...good."

Helping with the posters turned out to be reasonably fun and distracting for Dinah's poisonous mindset. Chris was fun to hang out with, and as their time together progressed Dinah kept catching his eyes lingering on her face or her thighs that showed due to the fact she still had on her cheerleading outfit. About an hour and a half in the two were lying on Chris' floor surrounded by huge posters and marker pens. Chris sat up and ran a hand through his hair. "Maybe I should try calling Zayn and check on Lo, I can't tell you how many times i've had to go retrieve her from that damn treehouse they smoke in, only to find them practically delirious and giggly." Dinah clenched her teeth as Chris reached for the phone he kept in his room. "I swear, one time-" 

Dinah cut him off by grabbing his face and pulling him in for a kiss.


	6. Heartbreak

Lauren knew she had probably smoked too much weed. She also knew she shouldn't be driving as she desperately attempted to keep her eyes wide open and focused. It would be easier if she didn't feel like the fly buzzing around her car was out to get her, distracting her as it flew past her ear every 30 seconds. She chewed the piece of bubblegum Zayn had given her to keep her thoughts from drifting, blowing a bubble as she reached a traffic light. 

She had gone to Zayn's house after school like she always did when she was feeling shitty; something Lauren felt was going to be a common occurence from now on. Zayn and her were best friends, though they didn't tend to hang out a lot at school as they had different groups.

Zayn was, to put it a nicely as possible, a slacker. He sauntered around school dressed in holey band t-shirts and ripped jeans, always half asleep and always thinking either about his graffiti art of the next time he could get high. Lauren had met him in Sophomore year when in a rage at the fact her history teacher refused to teach anything about African Americans' history, she'd been sent out of class for being disruptive. Leaning against the wall outside the classroom she'd first seen Zayn lighting up a cigarette across the hallway. For a second she'd worried that a tramp had gotten into the school as his black top was so baggy and shapeless and his sweats caked in enough mud that he looked like he'd come off the streets. When he noticed her, lifting his head, she realised he was just a boy; possessing a thin face with a spattering of spots and the starts of stubble on his cheeks, and a gangly frame that explained why his clothes hung off him so much. Zayn grinned and made his way across to hallway, with every intention of hitting on the cute girl who stood there, but Lauren stopped him by holding one finger up. 

"Stop right there. Don't come closer with that disgusting cancer stick." She wrinkled her nose. "You'll get detention if they catch you smoking in here anyway, you could at least go to the bathroom or something." Zayn grinned further at her annoyance. He thought her accent was hot. 

"Or," He replied, taking another drag on his cigarette, "You could come outside with me and have a smoke. You look like you have some steam to let off." He shrugged.

Lauren rolled her eyes and crossed her arms, causing the hem of her blue and white crop top to ride up slightly. Zayn's eyes flickered down to the revealed strip of skin. She had a cute tummy, very soft looking. When he looked up again he started slightly, meeting annoyed green eyes. "Stop staring you creep, omg!" Lauren huffed, pulling her top down and her jeans up.

For several minutes Zayn continued to smoke and watch her, occasionally quirking an eyebrow or flashing Lauren a smirk as she stubbornly stood there. 

"So...why you out here?" Zayn tried again, after putting his cigarette out on a locker.

"Because this school's idea of American History is bullshit."

Zayn nodded as he patted his pockets down for a piece of gum. "True. That's why I never go to History class." Lauren smiled slightly, turning to face him properly. "Sounds sensible." She sighed. "Who are you? You sound British and I don't think i've seen you around school?" She watched him curiously as he threw a piece of white gum in the air and caught it in his mouth. 

Zayn chewed thoughtfully for a moment and Lauren huffed impatiently. It wasn't exactly a hard question.

"I am. My name's Zayn, I'm from England. My dad, my siblings and I moved here this year because he remarried an American woman."

"Lauren. Do you like it here?"

Zayn shrugged, looking indifferent. "S'alright. Warmer I guess but I miss my grandparents back home." Clearly encouraged by the conversation, Zayn moved closer to Lauren, hands deeps in his pockets to appear causal, but a slightly nervous stiffness about his body. This was weird for him, he rarely felt nervous around anyone.

Lauren noticed, now that she could see his face properly, that he had really pretty brown eyes and long eyelashes. She blushed a bit on account of his closeness, and looked awkwardly to the side, fiddling with her fingers. 

Zayn felt his confidence rise at her disposition, and he reached into his pocket. "Want some gum?" He proffered said piece with his hand. Lauren shook her head. "I only like pink bubblegum."

Zayn put the gum back in his pocket. "Huh. Is that so? I'll keep that in mind." Lauren, shrugged, not sure what to do. "Well," Zayn smiled, "It doesn't look like the teacher will be calling you back   in anytime soon." He winked, and Lauren rolled her eyes, now reminded of how irritated her teacher had made her feel. "I've got my car. Why don't you come for a drive with me? We can chat."

Lauren looked very dubious. "I don't know. I hardly know you." 

Zayn pleaded with his eyes. "Come on, it's freeing to just break the routine sometimes, you know?... and it's lunch next, I'll get you back in time for 5th period." Lauren thought about it. Honestly there was nothing she wanted to do more than get out of school in that moment, plus she had taken her bag out with her, knowing there was a high chance the teacher wouldn't call her back in. 

"No smoking. Also, I have pepper spray in my bag so don't try anything." Lauren warned. Zayn laughed for the first time, quiet and slightly raspy. "Noted." He hoisted his backpack further up his shoulders and nodded to the door. "Shall we?" Lauren nodded, smiling, and followed him out, bumping shoulders with him playfully. She felt strangely at ease with Zayn. It was common for her to clash with people, the only proper friends she had were Lucy and Normani. 

Once they were in the car, which unsurprisingly stunk like smoke, Zayn started the engine and smirked at her, a smirk that turned into a smile when he noticed her displeased expression. "Want me to roll down a window?"

Lauren laughed and nodded. "Yes please. And Zayn?" 

"Hmm?"

"Don't worry about getting me back in time for 5th period."

He grinned, his widest smile yet. "Noted."

***

This afternoon Lauren had been particularly down after what had been her worst day in a while. She'd thought Dinah might ignore her, or be awkward, but never thought that she would revert back to being an outright  _bitch_. She felt utterly betrayed when Dinah had mocked her in front of their whole English class, but she wasn't going to put up with her shit just because she had feelings for her. She'd shown Dinah enough when the girl had been ogling her after school. The  _nerve_.

When she'd rung Zayn's doorbell, he'd appeared at the door shirtless, dressed only in some low hanging jeans and of course accompanied by a cigarette hanging out his mouth. She was too upset to even appreciate his body, instead giving him a weak smile that he immediately saw through.

"Babe? What's up?" He pulled her into his small house, looking at her worriedly. The words caused some smoke to blow over her face but she didn't mind. She'd gotten used to his smoking over the years, especially after finding out that it calmed his anxiety- something that you wouldn't guess from looking at the seemingly confident guy.

"Can we uh, go to the treehouse." She responded shakily, ignoring his question.

He nodded quickly, understanding her need for refuge. "Let me just grab a shirt quick." He turned and took the stairs that were behind him two at a time. Zayn's twelve year old sister, Walihya, stuck her head out from the living room door, looking at Lauren curiously. "Hi Lauren." She greeted, having seen her at their house very often.

Lauren moved off the wall she was leaning on and smiled. "Hey Walihya, you okay?"

Walihya furrowed her brow. "Are  _you_ okay? You look upset." Lauren sighed, just as Zayn came bounding back down the stairs, donned in a loose, striped blue top and with some weed in his right hand. "I had an argument with a friend. Don't worry about it." 

Zayn shuffled forward awkwardly and softly took her arm. "You wanna go outside?" She nodded and smiled at Walihya before they moved through the small kitchen and out the back door. 

An hour later they were both high, lying on the bean bags that Zayn had strewn on the floor of his treehouse. He'd built the treehouse when he first moved in, needing a place to go out and smoke, a place that gave him some space away from his family. It didn't have any lights, only an open roof so that when it got dark he could watch the stars, and also so that when he and Lauren smoked it didn't turn into a hot box.

He did have a Sony Discman that he played CDS on, a mattress with a soft blanket that Lauren had bought him for his birthday, and a hand built cupboard that held some cigarettes, a couple of his favourite books,  and some warm soft drinks. 

Lauren loved the treehouse and wished she could have something similar in her own much larger garden, but knew her parents would never allow it. They'd probably think it unsightly or childish, and God forbid if they caught her smoking in there. 

Zayn was one of the few people who actually knew about her and Dinah, and after a little coaxing from him-and a little weed- she had spilt everything, crying for ages before relaxing into a state of calmness partly brought on by the weed, and partly from the relief of letting out her emotions.

Zayn had held her while she cried, stroking her hair. She was one of the few people he felt comfortable being physical with. He was quite a withdrawn person, having been an outsider most of his life, but he cared deeply for Lauren. A little too deeply he sometimes thought, very aware of how easily his heart could get broken.

He had never been Dinah's biggest fan. He'd always thought she didn't appreciate Lauren enough, and that her mood swings and insecurities about their relationship caused her more anxiety than she ever deserved. He was also very aware of how much Dinah didn't like him, and he knew this was because of jealousy.  _Ha. Serves you right,_ he often thought. He knew better than to voice these thoughts out loud though, Lauren didn't like him talking badly of Dinah. 

"I just... don't know why she doesn't want me anymore." Lauren had whispered in a heartbroken voice after they had lain next to each other for a while.

Zayn had stared angrily up at the sky. "Neither do I Lauren, she's mad, you know that right?"

Lauren didn't say anything for a while. Then she sighed. "Maybe I'm mad for actually believing it could last."

When it started to get a little dark he had offered to drive Lauren home in her car, but Lauren had refused, stating that he would then have to walk back and it wasn't worth it. Very reluctantly he had let her go, but not before feeding her a sandwich and a glass of water to try and reduce her high, and making her promise to call him when she got home.

Feeling slightly lighter than she had earlier that day, Lauren finally pulled into her driveway accident free. The talk with Zayn, though sad, had lifted some of the weight off her shoulders, and she was ready to do her homework, eat some food and go to bed for the evening. Dinah could suck a dick.

Fumbling with her keys for a few delayed seconds, her head still very airy, Lauren got her front door open. She knew her parents were probably still at work. "Chris!" She dropped her bag by the door, swaying slightly. "I know you were probably panicking, but I'm home now!" She called up the stairs, chuckling lightly. When she didn't get a reply she started up the stairs in case he was napping. "Chriiis?" She heard a little commotion behind his bedroom door and frowned. Did he have someone over? A girl maybe? That made her smile cheekily, searching her mind for girls she'd seen Chris with recently. She was reaching forward to knock when the door was wrenched open. 

Looking up, she was met with tousled blonde hair and a panicked look. "...Dinah?" Lauren's brain froze for a second as she stared at her. She wasn't processing why the hell Dinah was in her brother's room. Dinah also seemed in momentary shock, looking down at Lauren with wide, surprised eyes that held...guilt? Lauren tried to move around her only to have Dinah step into her way, effectively blocking her from seeing into the room. "The hell Dinah? Get out of my way!" She growled, feeling increasingly suspicious as dread settled in her stomach for the second time in two days. Dinah only bit her lip and held onto her arms hard, pushing her back. But Lauren was determined, and she was quick. Wriggling out of Dinah's grip she darted under her arm, only to wish she hadn't. 

Chris was sat on his bed, with tousled hair and what Lauren could identify as a massive hickey on his neck. He seemed to have just pulled his shirt on if the mismatched buttons were anything to go by, and he was currently fumbling with the zip of his fly. Lauren stood unmoving as he glanced up at her, slight embarrassment colouring his cheeks. Aside from that though, he had the clear chirpiness in his countenance of a teenage boy who had just got some. Chris didn't know about her and Dinah. Lauren hadn't trusted him to not spill it to her parents, he was awful at keeping secrets and a generally honest person. Right now though, she wished she had.

"Oh, uh hey Lauren. I'm glad your back, haha." He ran a hand through his hair and stood up awkwardly. 

Filled with a venom she'd never felt before, Lauren whipped around and glared at Dinah with everything she could muster. Dinah looked afraid for her reaction, standing nervously with her school bag in one hand and the other on the bannister. She appeared about to leave. 

"Oh no." Lauren spat. "You're not running away again." Lauren was fuming. She hadn't been this angry or upset in a long time. Running her hands aggressively through her hair she stepped forward, revelling in the fact that Dinah took a step back. "Lauren, I-"

"My brother?" She hissed. "How could you, you slut!" Dinah's face turned stoney at that, never one to feel sorry for long when she was angry.

"Hey girls! Let's calm down, I know this is strange, but-" Lauren swung around and slammed Chris' bedroom door shut in his face. When she turned back, she was met with a shove from Dinah. Taken off guard, she fell against the wall.  "I'm not a slut! Fuck you." Dinah growled.

Lauren was used to Dinah's physicality. She came from a family where a quick slap to the face if you were being rude was common, and she often found Dinah's dad a little too rough and imposing. 

She pulled herself back up, making up for what she lacked in strength with what she had in anger and moral high ground. "You sleep with my brother the day after you end things with me? In my own house, where you knew I would find out? Yeah I think slut fits it just fine." She retorted furiously. She didn't even care if Chris heard anymore, too caught up in the moment. He was probably avoiding the conflict anyway by putting his headphones on. That's what he'd always do when they were little and their parents argued loudly. He couldn't stand people shouting.

Dinah's eyes were flaming. "For your information," She hissed, poking Lauren hard in the chest. "I didn't sleep with him." Lauren raised her eyebrows disbelievingly, but when she considered  what else she could have done that involved Chris' jeans being unbuttoned, she balked, feeling like she could be sick. "Don't touch me with those hands after doing  _that_." She hissed in disgust.

Dinah seemed at a loss. She folded her hands behind her back, and glared frustratedly at the wall just to the left of Lauren's face. "Lauren, look..." 

"No." The girl couldn't even make eye contact with her, like hell she was listening to what she had to say.

"Lauren, please-"

"No. I'm not interested. You can piss off. I'm done. I don't deserve this." Lauren pushed past Dinah and walked straight to her room, shutting the door behind her. She felt ready to break down. Pulling off the grey sweater she was wearing, she stalked over to her closet, eyes blurring with tears, and grabbed a random comfy t-shirt to put on. She was about to change her skirt when her bedroom door was pushed open and Dinah came in, her eyes wild and tears streaming down her face. 

"Get out." Lauren's voice wavered slightly at the distress on Dinah's face.

Dinah took several hesitant steps forward, and Lauren took two back. "No, Dinah, you have to leave. Go."

Dinah kept walking until she was right in front of Lauren, then she dropped to her knees in front of her and buried her face in her shirt, sobbing. "I'm sorry...for..everything.." She gulped in deep breaths as she tried to articulate her words.

Lauren put her hands on her head to shove her away, only to find herself stroking her hair as Dinah soaked her t-shirt with sobs. Feeling weak, she stared up a the ceiling in frustration. She was too soft when it came to Dinah, this had happened so many times before when she had hurt her, only for Lauren to forgive her too easily. But never had Dinah done something like this. Feeling her anger come back, Lauren took a step away from Dinah, shaking her head. "You can't do this Dinah. You haven't even explained to me why you broke things off and now hooking up with my brother?" Her lip wobbled. "That's plain cruel."

Dinah wiped furiously at her face and nose, staring dejectedly at the ground. "I know. I- stuff happened. I want to be with you I do, but I  _can't_..." She started to cry again.

Lauren wanted to go to her. She would have if what had just happened hadn't happened. But she didn't know if she could forgive her. At least not yet. "Dinah, I don't understand. I'd say you need to talk to me, but frankly, right now I don't wanna listen. You had no reason to get with my brother, and I, I'm  _so freakin_ pissed at you right now that you need to leave. _"_

Dinah glanced up at her through watery eyes and saw the defensiveness of Lauren's stance. She knew that she was very close to getting angry again, so, feeling empty she stood up. The distance between them felt solid, unbreakable. She could almost physically see Lauren's walls closing up. "I'm sorry." Dinah whispered. Lauren said nothing, her eyes filmy with tears. She turned and walked to the door. Halfway out she paused, and turned her head to catch Lauren's eye one more time. "You look cute in my shirt." She said weakly, the heartbreak evident in her voice. She caught the look of realisation on Lauren's face as she looked down at her T-shirt, and, without waiting for an answer, she left the Jauregui premises. 


End file.
